I'm 60 today

I find it impossible to believe and even did the maths again to check, but there's no doubt about it, I'm 60 years old today. If you're thinking that I'm too old to write about men's style and that you'll never visit Grey Fox again, ponder this. It seems yesterday that I left school, went to university, qualified as a lawyer, married, had children and the children left home. Life passes by very fast. Unless you're older than me, you'll very soon find yourself wondering at the passing years just as I am.

Yet I feel privileged. Age brings contentment, stability and confidence to many of us. We have experienced the ups and downs of life. This brings frustration, as we see others (not least politicians) repeating past mistakes, but it also brings a certain wisdom. 

The blog enables me to explore new interests and areas. I will continue to write about style, will harry the fashion industry to take notice of the older man and will support young, new or British-made businesses when I can. 

Please stay in touch. 

There's no such thing as an ugly man...style for older and middle-aged men

'There's no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one', is one of those phrases that has been attributed to almost anyone you can think of; Coco Chanel, Christian Dior, Ali Mahdavi, Helena Rubinstein. Even Ovid said something similar (but in Latin, of course). Thus proving that nobody (except perhaps Winston Churchill) ever had an original word to say about anything.

Whoever said this could have equally applied it to men. There's much more to attractiveness than physical beauty. As a man, I am attracted far less to the sterile good looks of female models and celebrities than to those women whose character and experience show in their faces and bearing. I suspect that the same principle applies to most women when they are attracted to a man. The cocky trying-too-hard young stud is not necessarily going to win the lady's heart over the man who, while not classically good looking, has an obvious aura of style and confidence.

If I'm right, there is hope for us all. But how can we show our character, age, demeanour in ways that have an impact? It takes work; laziness will not achieve a result. I'm totally unable to identify what makes an attractive man, but I'm beginning to see how the older and middle-aged man can use personal style to stand out, whatever his looks.

To illustrate my point, here are a few images I've used on the blog over the last year. What is it that makes these men stand out in a crowd? You can decide and adopt any inspiration you find. But don't try too hard, that becomes self-defeating.

The Sartorialist

The Sartorialist

The Sartorialist

The Sartorialist

The Sartorialist

The Sartorialist

The Sartorialist

Rose Callahan

Bradley Wiggins, Royalty and the double-breasted jacket - recreating the look

Bradley Wiggins, the first British winner of the Tour de France and winner of 2012 Olympic Gold in the Men's Time Trial, won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2012 award with typical double-breasted mod swagger, set off by a large gold pocket square.

Wiggins's suit was made by Mark Powell, tailor to the stars. But isn't the double-breasted jacket the preserve of the older man, the every-day wear of the Establishment and Royalty? Grey Fox investigates.

Image News168

The two grainy images below must have been taken many years apart, but they show the timelessness of the classic double-breasted blazer, and how it has been loved by the British Royal Family for over 70 years. The naval origins of the blazer are obvious, as would be expected of a nation with salt running in its veins, and whose Royals have a strong naval link.

Many of the Royal males wear them, in particular for less-formal events. 

So how does Bradley Wiggins fit into this very traditional, Establishment look? Well, it's often said but true, it's not what you wear, it's how you wear it. Royalty make the DB blazer look elegant, Wiggo makes it look young, mod and, again very elegant - helped by the slim cut, an athletic frame and the daring use of velvet.

How can we recreate the look for the man of style, suiting any age? All images below from Mr Porter.

Michael Bastian wool/cashmere blazer

Slowear Incotex straight leg wool trousers

Canali

Etro

Gucci

John Lobb Becketts classic Oxofords

Grey hair 2 - Complement it with blues

Grey hair? Part 2 of a series here. Add colour with blues; pale, bright, royal, navy, cornflower, midnight, mid-blues; whatever. 

I'm grateful to Bill Gentle, who gave me his permission to use his set of images of Bradley Roberts of Oakland CA. I was struck by the power of these portraits, as well as the grey hair/blue clothes combination. See Backyard Bill for more of Bill's photography.

Look out for Grey Vixens later this week; looking at middle-aged women who go beautifully grey.

Image The Sartorialist

All images below from The Sartorialist.

A reader asks - Should I tuck in my shirt or not?

Let's have a brief respite from the Grey Fox Made and Designed in Britain Month.

From time to time I am contacted with sartorial questions by visitors to the blog. Usually I can give my view without too much problem. Then, recently, the question arrived (from a Spanish visitor) that I had been dreading – should the shirt be tucked into the trousers or allowed to hang outside?

I’d been dreading this question because it exemplifies the confusion about his dress sense that a man feels when he reaches middle age - am I trying too hard, is this too young a style? A young man would not be concerned. Once middle age approaches, however, that confidence is undermined. Some months ago, in a crisis of confidence, I made the mistake of asking my children for advice on this knotty point. My daughter said the shirt should be tucked in, my son disagreed.

At that point I recalled why I had started Grey Fox; to find my own way on matters of style through trial and error. I had to answer this for myself. So, here is my carefully-considered view. As ever, I emphasise that it is my view. You should decide for yourselves (all images from Mr Porter):

Formal shirt, Brioni Bengal stripe - Mr Porter

Formal shirt –

1. Always tuck in your shirt when worn in a formal situation, with a suit, jacket or tie.

2. By all means, wear it outside your trousers if worn informally (for example with jeans), but only if,

• The shirt is cut suitably, i.e. it is not too long or so baggy that it whips around your hips like a country smock. Best is a slim-fitting shirt that is not too long or over-generously cut at the bottom.
• You are not wearing a tie.
• You feel it looks right. I know that this sounds unhelpful, but you need to stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself, ‘Do I feel uncomfortable like this? Will I feel self-conscious all day?’ If so, tuck the shirt in.
• You have taken advice which is unanimously in favour of the shirt being untucked. However, be warned, if you ask for advice you run the risk of receiving half a dozen conflicting opinions which will only leave you confused and even hurt (avoid asking teenage daughters for advice if possible).
• The shirt is not rumpled at the bottom because you have tucked it in and then changed your mind. It should be neatly pressed from top to bottom.

Casual shirt untucked. Dunhill denim - Mr Porter

Casual shirt tucked in. Rag and Bone - Mr Porter

Polo shirts –

Can be tucked in or not. I generally wear them untucked, but I like wearing them with a summer blazer, in which case they are tucked in (I'm not a fan of untucked shirts with jackets). As with formal shirts, make sure the cut is not too long or baggy if it is to be worn outside the trousers.

T-shirts –

Generally will not be worn tucked in, unless they are worn as undershirts. If you have massive upper body musculature and like to show off, tuck the T-shirt in, I'm not going to try to dissuade you.

A cunning tip

If you're still unsure, try having your shirt half tucked in. This requires great subtlety (and sprezzatura) if it is not to appear too contrived and if you are to avoid looking like an overgrown schoolboy who's just climbed a wall to steal some apples. Practice makes perfect with this one.

(Glossary - For some readers trousers are pants; for UK readers, if you feel you need to tuck your shirts into your pants (underwear) you are visiting the wrong blog).

Grey Fox Interviews Cirrus about hair and the middle aged man

For over 20 years I've had my hair cut by David Barnes of Cirrus in south west London. I tend to let him get on with whatever he thinks needs doing to my hair and he does a great job. When I first started going to him my hair was much fuller than it is now and there were no hints of grey - now things are very different. I assumed that, like the other parts of our bodies, out hair would need more maintenance as we grew older, so I asked David and his business partner, Nick, for an interview for some advice.

George Clooney - grey and stylish?

GF - David and Nick, tell me something about your business, Cirrus.

D & N - We're an independent hair salon opened some 20 years by David and a small team of uniquely talented hair stylists. Over the years the team has changed and evolved into the core of David, Grace and Nick; all grown-ups, long past our egos and desires to reconceptualize our industry, but still acutely style conscious without pandering to fleeting trends.

Jonathan Ross - yes or no?

GF - What changes do you see in men's hair as we grow older?

D&N - There are two fundamental and obvious changes - thinning and greying. Some men are lucky enough to experience neither, but that's all it is, luck!

GF - What can we do to look after it as we get older?

D&N - There are some simple rules for men wanting to look after their hair as they get older. Many men fix their personal style in their mid to late twenties and rarely progress from this. Middle age is not a time for long hair or experimenting with styles from the back catalogue (although Nick might argue against this one!) If you're thinning, keep hair short, don't for a minute think that by keeping the edges nice and thick or developing the much ridiculed "comb-over" that you will draw attention away from the lack of hair on top; keep it short! This is a time when the shaved head is a suitable look.

No colour for any reason whatsoever. And that's final. Having said all that, there is no reason why the middle-aged man can't be on trend or stylish. It's all about finding a hairdresser who will keep your style appropriate without inflicting their own sense of style on you.

Steve McQueen - the ultimate middle aged hair?

GF - Any products?

D&N - Good products are always worth investing in. There is a point of diminishing returns, but generally a salon-bought product will yield better results than your supermarket own brand. Two or three times a week is more than enough for shampooing your hair; a daily rinse in the shower is usually enough to keep fresh. And don't, please, believe that old chestnut about hair becoming self-cleaning after 6 weeks. Try it and see what your wife, friends, colleagues have to say about the theory! Like skin, if your hair is dry, moisturise with conditioner.

Styling products take some trial and error to get right. I personally think American Crew and Bumble&bumble products offer the best range of options. In particular, B&b's Grooming Creme is a great all round product. But please gentleman,avoid high gloss,greasy looks!

GF - So in summary, what advice can you give to help us make the right choices about hair styles as we mature?

D&N - There is, as we've said, no reason at all why the older man can't be of the moment. It's just that the moment is now and not 20 years ago. Well groomed is preferable to high fashion. Think JFK, Steve McQueen, George Clooney, even dare I say it, David Cameron! But not Nick Clegg, Jonathan Ross or George Osborne!

Not Nick Clegg?

Nice and tight round the hairline, a bit of length and texture on top if you're lucky enough, not overly groomed but sharp. Sideburns (for that's what they're called - sideboards are where you keep your china), should be, according to the seminal Esquire Handbook For Men, either above or just below your cheekbone; not cut straight off at the top of the ears in a Gary Numan institution style, nor proceeding down the face to a laboured point.

And there is no need for creative facial hair at this time. However, a full beard is completely acceptable but keep it as groomed as your head hair.

For inspiration, a recommended read is The Ivy Look, Classic American Clothing, by Graham Marsh and JP Gaul. It's all you need.

GF - Thanks very much David and Nick.  And dandruff........?