The Search for Style : Why Do Older Men Give up on Style?

Here are more interesting thoughts from blog reader, David G about style:

"I enjoyed the latest in your search for style. A colleague about 10 years younger than me told me yesterday how much he admired my style; but at the same time he said it makes him realize how he’s “given up” on his own style. That was a revelation to me, David. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be stylish, but in his head he feels that his wife, family, and friends “don’t care” so what’s the point? 

Older men and style at Pitti Uomo June 2018

I told him he might be surprised, and I reminded him that my transformation was rather sudden. As I told you, I felt self-conscious about it for a few days, but after a few days everyone got used to the “new” me. And I get many compliments from my colleagues, which in turn make me feel more confident and happy with my style journey. If only men like my colleague would realize this. The hardest part is just getting started, but once you make that decision to care about your appearance and gets easier by the day!

And my reply:

I've always assumed that many older men have given up but have never had that exact conversation with someone who's admitted it, so it's interesting to hear that it does seem to be the case in some instances. I think that they get to an age where they have the family/career/partner/children or whatever and feel there's nothing that justifies looking stylish. They may also be unsure about how to dress well without being thought to be trying too hard. 

If menswear companies sold direct to the older man, by using older models, I'm sure that many older men would remain interested in style and more of those that aren't could be tempted out of their complacency/lack of confidence/interest or whatever. 

I agree there is a hurdle to get over at first. It gets easier - in fact I sometimes have to hold myself back slightly - I think it's possible to slide into dandyism. I don't want to stand out on how I dress by being too extrovert. Quiet stylishness is what I try to achieve.

I'm receiving so many comments from readers - many thanks. All influence what I think and write here on the blog about The Search for Style, so please keep in touch by commenting here or through my e-mail.

Follow The Search for Style series here.

The Search for Style: For the Older Man 'Dressing Well is a Matter of Pride'

Here's an interesting e-mail from a blog reader in which (among other topics) he equates style with a sense of pride

"Hi David. I am responding to your request for accounts of personal style. I live in the USA. I'm 62 years old. Your blog, along with Die, Workwear, and Permanent Style, are my favorites.

"But there is pleasure in wearing nice clothes, even delight"

There seem to be similarities between us. I am a lawyer, now retired. I spent much of my career as a public defender and my speciality was criminal appeals. I love the outdoors (last year I walked across Scotland, 134 miles on the John Muir Way). I love cars, especially old cars. (In the baby book, kept by my mom, it says my first word was "car.") In my garage is a 1973 BMW 2002, bought new by my father, and owned by me for the last 40 years. It is a beautiful machine, and, as much as possible, I have kept it like it was on the showroom floor. I love old British cars, and recently sold a 1972 Harvest Gold MGB I'd brought back from the dead in the early 90s.

MGB GT (stock image)

I sold it so that I could clear space for some other MG, a BGT with a chrome grill and wire wheels, an MGA, or a TC. I already have the wardrobe for the TC, except for the goggles. And I love clothes and shoes and hats.  

"Women you don't even know will start conversations with you"

My search for style began when I was about 30, when I realized I'd like to be a judge. I knew I'd have to dress better to be taken seriously. I found that I enjoyed buying and wearing nice clothes. I came to this honestly, I suppose; my father, grandfather, and several great uncles wore natty and elegant clothes. At first, my style was more Italian, but there was a sea change in 1997 on a visit to London. A lovely older man that helped me pick a fedora at Lock remarked, "I don't know if you're interested in bespoke, but there's a fine tailor on Sackville Street." He named Meyer and Mortimer.

Meyer & Mortimer, Sackville Street, London

This was like striking a match near tinder. I went over, met Mr Brian Lewis, pored through books and books of cloth, and chose a green tweed with red windowpane for a jacket. I paid the princely sum of $1100 far more than I'd ever spent on any piece of clothing. But twenty years on I still wear that jacket, showing that things can only be valued from a distance of years. 

"The search [for clothes and shoes] is endlessly fascinating, especially in the treasure trove that is London"

After that experience I was hooked. Most years I return to London in the late fall, and work on a new commission. Mr Lewis and the other nice people at Meyer and Mortimer have become friends. I know it's not customary for customers and tailors to become friends - that master-servant thing - but I'm American and I don't care, so there are hugs all around when I arrive and when I leave. My commissions are usually three button tweed or wool jackets with side vents and three patch pockets. We always laugh about it because I say this year I'll get a different design, but I never do. In my defense, I will say that for my next commission I'm thinking about an overcoat.

"On these visits I pound the pavement in London and Edinburgh looking for clothes and shoes. The search is endlessly fascinating, especially in the treasure trove that is London"

Along the way I've learned my style. Some years ago I bought a beautiful pair of signal orange moleskin trousers. But they are worn maybe once a year, if that. I will wear heavy dark olive English cords a hundred times to every time I wear the crazy Italian moleskin trousers. I tend to wear eight-panel caps, oxford cloth shirts, wool jackets, wool knit ties. Wool overcoats, tweed overcoats. In the winter, heavy tweed trousers, turn ups. I have a weakness for suede shoes and monk shoes. Sweaters, too many sweaters! This fall, before my trip, I gave away two sweaters, then bought three, great Irish fisherman's sweaters, Scottish sweaters. When you hear Santa Fe, you might think it is too warm for all of these things, but we are in the mountains, not far from Colorado, we have four seasons, and it

gets cold in the winter here.

"Most men don't dress, either because they don't know enough about it, or maybe because they're afraid they'll be seen as effete"

Why do I dress, why do I care about it? I'm retired. I don't have to dress well. But there is pleasure in wearing nice clothes, even delight. Either I wear my clothes or the moths will eat them. So what if I'm overdressed, showing up at lunch in a jacket and tie? My friends don't even blink. I am a one-man crusader for looking a little nicer. I don't lecture about it; I just do it because I like it. Most men don't dress, either because they don't know enough about it, or maybe because they're afraid they'll be seen as effete.

Dressing well is a matter of pride, makes the world around you better, makes your step lighter. It might even be more important as we get older. When you see an elderly man well dressed it makes you happy, appreciative. Who doesn't want to talk to someone like that? Women you don't even know will start conversations with you. (It happened just this week, when a woman commented on my houndstooth jacket, and wanted me to turn around so she could see the fit. Hilarious and wonderful. For that moment, at least, I was not invisible.) And my clothes are practical. My wool jackets are comfortable, warm, have lots of pockets for stuff. My tweed trousers are warm, far more comfortable than a pair of stiff, cold jeans. My caps are warm and don't blow off in the wind.

"You, along with others, make me realize that it is okay to enjoy clothes"

I was born old, I think. I'm old school, old fashioned, I like old things. When I turned 60 I promised myself a fine watch. I thought I'd buy an expensive new watch, but instead I ended up buying a 1957 Vacheron Constantin in perfect condition. That is me in a nutshell. I prefer it to any new watch.

You, along with others, make me realize that it is okay to enjoy clothes. Thank you. In the meantime, keep up your good work. Watch for me in London, usually just after Halloween. My cap will be at a jaunty angle, my jacket tweed, and it may appear that my monk shoes are barely touching the ground."

How Has Grey Fox's Style Evolved Since He Started the Blog? by Sarah Gilfillan

I was discussing my series A Search for Style (link below) recently with menswear personal stylist, Sarah Gilfillan of Sartoria Lab and she suggested that we look at how my style has developed over the six years since I started the blog. As ever with Sarah, the idea was both brilliant and highly apposite to this series in which I try to analyse style to help those of us on a journey to find it.

FROW at a menswear show in Jermyn Street, 2017 wearing a New & Lingwood suit

In the image above I'm wearing a summer suit from New & Lingwood. I doubt I could have pulled off such a look a few years ago. How has the journey to style developed? Before I hand over to Sarah I want to acknowledge her help and experience on this blog over the years. If you are looking for a style makeover or wardrobe advice you couldn't do better than to obtain her help. See Sartorialab.

Grey Fox's journey to style by Sarah Gilfillan

'It wasn’t until I came across the image below picture recently that I realised how David’s look has subtly changed and improved. There’s nothing exactly wrong with this outfit, but he doesn’t look as groomed and put together as he does now.

So let’s take a closer look as to why this is. Firstly, while the colours he’s wearing don’t clash, there’s nothing that ties them together. Secondly, I personally prefer David in jackets that have a bit more structure to them: this one looks a little bit “sacky”. David is slim and I think a slightly unstructured boxy jacket like this is more suited to a body shape that is broader or stockier. Thirdly, I’m also not mad about these trousers. Although they’re more of a chino, because of the 5 pocket style they’re a little reminiscent of the sort of bright blue denim jeans that were worn in the 1970s, and generally it’s thought that if you were wearing something the first time round, you shouldn’t be wearing it again! 

There’s one other almost imperceptible change that’s since made a dramatic difference: his hairstyle. David’s hair is now shorter at the sides giving it a more stylised look. Grey hair has a tendency to dryness (I speak from experience!) and now David has taken to using products his hair looks sleeker, tidier and more groomed.

The one thing that stands out about the jacket (above) is the fact that the lapels are quite wide which in my opinion makes it look a little dated as recently lapels have been a lot slimmer. I understand that many men will want to stick to classics but even those will change shape a little over time. The other point is that David has quite a slender frame and long neck and the width of the lapels seems to enhance this and the look feels a little unbalanced.

This (above) is about half way through David’s search for style to date. The muted tones of blues and browns work well together, the tie has a nice dimple and the pocket square has a touch of blue in it bringing in the colour of the tie and also red, which goes with the lining of the jacket. There’s one thing I like to see on a waistcoat and that’s the bottom button undone. David has yet to update his hair style in this image.

I like this look (above) as it feels modern and fresh without being too trendy. The bold stripe of the shirt works well with the more subtle check of the jacket, the red pocket square adds a flash of colour and the glasses look up to date and modern. David is not scared to mix his patterns!

This (above) is one of my favourite pictures of David. Easy to look good in a suit you may think, but notice the details: the double breasted with very fitted jacket, the tab collar shirt, cufflinks, and flash of colour with the pocket square. The fit of the suit is great, the bold check and darker colour of the tie balance really well with the suit and there’s enough cuff showing, a detail which many men overlook [Grey Fox: it's worth noting that this suit was £200 from Hammond & Co. of Debenhams a couple of years ago; quality (the cloth was English-made) and fit are more important than price].

Even in just a simple shirt here (above), David manages to look stylish. What is it that sets this apart from other shirts? Here’s what I think it is; the shirt fits well on David. It’s chambray, which looks modern; the cutaway collar is flattering on David’s long neck, and he looks great in blue! Add to this the contemporary style of glasses and stylish hair and you have a great look.

Even when David’s wearing casual clothes now (image above), he manages to look modern and well put together. I love the layering and the neatly tied scarf which works well with the rest of the outfit in lightening it up. I like the underneath layers all being dark and then the outer layer in a lighter colour which stands out. Plenty of patch pockets are flattering to David’s slim physique. Note how the hair has improved too!

Three Ways to Dress Better as an Older Man:

Fit - this goes for any age, but I’ve noticed a tendency in older guys to always opt for the oversized and comfortable which, if you’re not careful, can look sloppy. Make sure things fit well.

Colour - you don’t have to match everything exactly (it's best not to), but having some sort of coherence between the colours in your outfit brings it together and improves your overall appearance, whether dressed formally or casually.

Accessories - by paying attention to the details, it shows you care about how you look. Opting for a few modern touches in your glasses, pocket squares etc keeps your look fresh. For example, try a denim or chambray shirt with jacket and tie.'

Grey Fox: I'd like to thank Sarah for her analysis here. We hope it helps others in their searches for style. Follow The Search for Style on this blog on this link.

Style and the Shorter Man: Facing the Challenges of Being Below Average Height

I heard recently from Jon Cooper who's started a blog for the shorter man called The Shorter Guy (links below) which focuses on 'fashion and confidence' for men shorter than average height. This is a topic which I've touched on in the past, but it hasn't been given the space it deserves, so I invited Jon to contribute a feature for the blog. Here it is:

Fashion advice for the shorter guy by Jon Cooper

With the average male height in the UK at 5’9” and the average fashion model towering 6-foot plus, this creates a few challenges for the shorter guy like me, standing at 5’7”. Shopping for menswear as a shorter guy can be tough: in my experience internet shopping is an absolute no-no as smaller sizes vary greatly between brands, so I prefer visiting stores.

Jon of TheShorterGuy.com

On top of being short, I also have small features such as a skinny frame and legs that are sometimes mistaken for pieces of cotton!

When it comes to finding fashion advice online, the collateral available is very limited when you are short and is usually generic with some old favourites such as ‘wear vertical stripes’ or ‘try shoes with a heel’. While these are great tips for starters, it is important to have more options available and not just tips on how to appear taller.

I have spent years researching things that work well for the shorter guy, and I would like to share a few with you that will hopefully bring confidence to your wardrobe, no matter what your age or style. 

Dress to flatter your body type 

The most important piece of advice for short men is wear clothes that flatter your body type. Having a small neck size of 14.5” and relatively thin torso, I tend to stick to slim fitting shirts with a spread collar type, which takes the attention away from my small neck.

As I have very thin legs, I steer clear of boot cut or flared trousers. On the flip side, if you have larger legs, skinny jeans would only emphasise your size. 

Wear monochromatic colours 

When somebody first looks at you, for a split second their brain literally looks you up and down! By wearing colours that completely clash, such as black trousers and a white t-shirt, you are cutting yourself in half and this will make you look shorter. Just like an interior designer creates a free flowing room, it is important to dress monochromatically (right down to the belt and shoes) which will create a free flowing outfit with no break lines to your body.

Have a look at the differences in two outfits that Martin Freeman wore, you can see how he looks shorter in the photo with the colour contrasts.

Courtesy of Getty Images

Get your trousers hemmed

Don’t drown in your trousers! Remember that leg sizes are generic and if you are slightly out of the range your trousers could be too long, which will create an irritating ruffle on top of your shoes. Invest a bit of time and hem your trousers. There are many how-to videos online or if you don’t feel confident enough, visit a tailor.

Visit your local tailor 

After years of searching, I finally found a long mac jacket from Hammond & Co that I absolutely love. Whilst it fitted me perfectly up top, it buried my legs, going below my knees to my shins.

Jon's tailor at work

In danger of looking like Batman, I took it to my local tailor (‘clothing alteration store’ in the UK) and I was charged a mere £11 to reduce the length. This  transformed the jacket and meant I wasn’t so conscious every time I felt it flapping in the wind!

I now visit the store often to get quite a lot of my wardrobe tailored to fit me;  a very personal service for a low budget.

Accessorise, respectfully

I love accessories, nothing pleases me more than seeing a nice watch or pocket square, but with the average watch face sized at 40mm – this is too large for guys with thin wrists and really does emphasise the thinness. 

It is important that when you accessorise, you take consideration to your body type. If you have a stout body type, wearing a skinny tie will only make you look stouter. For shorter men, I wouldn’t recommend a thick belt, as this will draw eyes towards your midriff and split you in half and you will look visually shorter. Effective accessorising will transform your outfit.

In Summary

I welcome you to give the advice a shot and give me your feedback. Personally, it transformed the way I dressed, but more importantly, putting focus into the way I dressed brought so much confidence to me as a person and I hope it does you.

Scott Schuman The Sartorialist uses proportion well in selecting clothes

Jon Cooper of TheShorterGuy.com told me something about himself:

"The initial inspiration for the blog came from my height, standing at a mighty 5’7” tall!

Whilst working in sales I realised that a good 90% of people I met with were 6-feet tall, especially in London were I felt like I was towered over on tube and that most guys that appeared to be were successful (CEOs etc.) were tall, which knocked my confidence. 

Volunteering as a special constable (and being the smallest male special) is both fantastic and also challenging, with lots of jokes thrown my way! The policing aspect will feature in the blog more as get authority from Lancs police.

Fashion and style has always been an issue for the shorter guy, we fit in a grey area where clothes hardly ever fit right. The models are tall and brands develop for the ‘average’, so we are left with mostly ill-fitting garments. Online shopping is a strict no-no due to the sizing structure. 

In the world in which everybody seems to be getting taller, my aim of the blog is to develop a community solely dedicated to the shorter guy, 5’9” and under!"

The Search for Style 7: The Distinction Between Fashion & Style

I was contacted by a reader, David Glass, who has very succinctly defined the difference between fashion and style both for the older man and indeed a man of any age. This is something very familiar to me and his e-mail reminded me that I'd forgotten to mention it so far in this series (there's a link to the series below). With David's help I now put right this omission. 

Winston Churchill - natural style

This is what he says:

Dear David, 

Enjoying your blog posts this month! Your most recent post on capturing the essence of what we mean by style is something everyone should read. 

I think men often are confused about the difference between fashion and style. To me they have a very different meaning. A man must know himself in order to have a personal style that harmonizes with both who he is and his surroundings. He also must know something about style over the years. Successful style (whether others like it or not) is a non-verbal way of communicating sans words who we are. I believe that is the whole point of style, it’s a form of personal expression to the outside world. 

By comparison, fashion seems more about the clothing and the trends than the wearer or his surroundings, and therefore it is far less interesting to me. 

Just some quick thoughts off the top of my head. 

Warm regards,

David

I'd only add to this, although it's implicit in what David says, that fashion is something that is imposed from outside. Style, on the other hand, is more complex. It is influenced by exterior factors,  but the final result comes from us, reflecting our personality and inspiration rather than that (as in fashion) of others.

I'm receiving many comments. All influence what I think and write here on the blog about The Search for Style, so please keep in touch by commenting here or through my e-mail.

Follow The Search for Style series here.

The Search for Style 6: Three Ways to become a Well-Dressed Older Man

Is there a simple route to dressing well? Whether you are an older man or in your twenties or thirties, finding style needn't be complex. You may be following my series 'The Search for Style' here on the blog, but for those of you wanting a quick fix, here's three things you can do to up your style game: 

Keep an eye on The Sartorialist for stylish, well-dressed older men

1. Fit: Make sure things fit. Avoid over-long baggy trousers, jackets too long in the arm and too wide across the shoulder and ties that hang over your waistband. Conversely, take care of skinny, tight fits and too-short jackets ('bumfreezers') which can look as if you've outgrown them.

2. Dress your age: Don't wear stuff because your sons or grandsons do and you think therefore you'll look younger. Wearing a young man's styles emphasises the yawning gap between how old you look and how old you want to look, and that smacks of sad desperation. Some items to use very carefully: baseball caps, artificially faded denim, white leather trainers/sneakers (other than for sport).

3. Wear classics: Go for well-fitting classic clothes and shoes which are clean and well looked after. As you gain experience you can add touches (a chambray shirt, well-fitting raw denim jeans, colourful knitwear) to keep the looks contemporary to avoid simply looking old-fashioned.

Follow The Search for Style on this link.

The Search for Style 5: John Simons - A Modernist OR Rocking the Mod

I'm grateful to everyone who's been emailing me in response to this series in which I try to identify what style is, in particular for the older man. While it's like trying to grab the soap in the bath, I've heard so many similar thoughts that I feel being able to define the word is nearly within my grasp.

A reader sent me a link to this video trailer for a forthcoming film 'John Simons - A Modernist'.  Most older men of style, and many younger, know of John Simons who sell the best of US and UK mod styles. Here some well-known names sing his praises:

John Simons - A Modernist - Trailer - 2017 from MONO MEDIA FILMS on Vimeo.

The reader who contacted me, Philip Sherwood, added the following comment, with which I totally agree:

"I thought this might be of interest to consider or include when trying to define style. For the older gentleman the roots provided by the English mod mixed with the American preppy look have been used over countless years to provide a backbone of style. As someone in the 60's once stated, the look was based on 'looking good under difficult circumstances.'  

Men of a certain age have to realise that they can dress well but to do that they must have an interest in actually wanting to. Now that is a more difficult thing to deal with. It's not just wearing the clothes but how one wears them."

What I take from this is that menswear rarely breaks new ground; classic styles last. But Philip's final comment is important. Many older men take a perverse pleasure in refusing to dress well. I'm not clear what they're worried about, but they can afford to be more confident and adventurous rather than letting age bog them down.

Follow The Search for Style on this link.

The Search for Style 4: One Reader's Journey to Style

The Search for Style has produced many messages from readers. Many thanks to all: I have replied individually. All contain thoughtful comments and I want to post some on the blog (with permission of course). How do older men go about finding style and dressing well?

"I think more about my mortality and how much I enjoy life and how I would like my appearance to reflect that I not only have a respect for myself, but for life in general..."

Many of you told me about your searches for style. This e-mail, from David in North Carolina, USA (pictured below), is typical. 

His two points about getting started on a journey to style and the need for clothes to reflect one's personality both chimed with me. I hope it helps you all (as it did me):

Dear David, 

I will look forward to how you address fundamental questions about style on the blog this year. As a 56 year old man who only became interested in men’s fashion a few years ago, the journey has been an interesting one. It started with a trip to the Nordic countries, where I fell in love with their wool sweaters—seriously ! From there it moved to cover all of Men’s fashion. 

The hardest part for me was getting started, by that, I mean making major changes in my appearance at work. I am a middle school teacher at a private school and while we have a dress code, I tended to dress as casually as I could get away with. Now I am told I “dress to the nines” and that I am in fact the best dressed teacher on campus. I’ve received many compliments from friends and my boss actually went out of his way to note it on my last evaluation! It definitely has been positive for my self esteem and such. 

But I still remember when I made the transformation a few years ago. I came to school in a sports coat and new and elegant tie, with a Rubinacci pocket square. I’d never before worn a pocket square, and very rarely wore a jacket to work. People REALLY noticed and there was a lot of chatter. There was almost too much attention, but as people got used to my new look it was easier. It’s nice receiving compliments and looking professional, but it’s a bit intimidating when you make a sudden transformation in your look as I did! 

I love color, patterns, and different textures, and over these past few years I’ve read everything I could to learn about “style”. I came across your blog about a year ago on Instagram, and it’s become my favorite because I identify so much with your style. I’ve never been to the U.K., but I am especially drawn to British country style. I love the tweeds, wool sweaters, English-made brogues, flat caps and such. A lot of my friends tell me I dress more European than American! 

Perhaps, but what I have discovered is that clothing is more than just something to put on in the morning. It is a way of expressing who you are without words. As obvious as that might seem now, I had no idea of that until reaching my mid-fifties! I want to wear clothes that do more than make me look and feel better, I want them to be a *part* of me, of who I am. Too many men (most?) don’t seem to care about the clothes they wear or their appearance in general. They put little to no thought into their daily outfits, often opting for extremely casual clothes that don’t even fit properly, doing them no favors at all. I remember how I, too, once did the bare minimum when it came to my appearance. 

Now I see things from a different perspective. Maybe this comes with age, but I think more about my mortality and how much I enjoy life and how I would like my appearance to reflect that I not only have a respect for myself, but for life in general. I think for me that might be the essence of my style. 

It’s funny, because in the past few years I’ve changed my diet to a much healthier one. I eat better and I eat smaller portions. This, combined with long, daily walks has seen me lose about 12 pounds since last summer. My waist is now 33 inches, almost the 32 it was when I was in high school 38 years ago! I mention this because I do believe that this is all related to style. It’s a way of life. I see how my new wardrobe connects to my diet, my weight loss, and my improved health. As a result, I feel better both physically and mentally! 

Well I really didn’t mean to ramble this long, but I wanted to thank you for your blog. It’s inspirational to me. 

Warm regards from North Carolina,
David

Many thanks, David. He raised many issues that I'll talk about over the next few weeks. Meanwhile, please comment below or get in touch with your thoughts and suggestions or accounts of your own journeys to style. My e-mail

Follow The Search for Style on this link.

Dad Style? How to Dress Well as an Older Man

The press loves to gently mock 'dad style', which sadly isn't just the creation of journalists desperate for copy. In town the other day I saw a father and son. Both wore black quilted jackets (with large brand logos), black jeans and startlingly white trainers. The young man looked fine, but the older man didn't. Why? How can the older man dress well and find style without looking as though he's out of place or trying too hard? Here are my thoughts; part of the blog's Search for Style series (link below).

I've borrowed images of David Beckham for this post (if they're yours and you want them taken down or to be credited, let me know. They're used here for illustrative purposes only). Beckham has an acute sense of style and can probably carry off dad style better than most, but study the images and decide for yourself.

Beckham father and son: dad style?

To me 'dad style', in the disparaging sense in which it's come to be used, can be two things: 

1. Firstly, an older man wearing clothes that would look better on this son. Essentially, he's dressing younger than his age, reluctant to let go of his fading youth. Harsh maybe, but true style means accepting yourself for who you are and wearing clothes that suit your personality without shouting out that you'd rather be someone else. 

2. Secondly, the older man who's stuck in 'older man' style because he doesn't know of any other or doesn't care about looking good. The dog-eaten tweed cap, boxy jacket, ill-fitting and shapeless trousers, grey shoes or white trainers, the absence of any colour or shape. This is the man who feels he's too old to bother.

Both of these dad styles include men that I would love to influence through this blog, showing them how true style respects age and personality rather than not bothering or trying to be what you're not.

All dad style?

How to avoid 'dad style'

You may be happy with your dad style, in which case don't read on. However, here are a couple of thoughts to help you avoid the look:

a) Don't wear clothes more suited to young men. This will not, in general, make you look either cool or younger. I say 'in general' because there are some older men who can look good in tight jeans, baseball caps and white trainers, but the risk shouldn't be taken unless you're confident of the result. Avoid skinny fits and narrow lapels, over-short jackets, brand logos and trainers (other than for sport). 

b) Don't get stuck in shapeless 'older men' styles. Most importantly, your clothes must fit well. Have them altered by a tailor if you buy ready to wear. Find good quality clothes (and shoes) in classic shapes and styles. To look subtly contemporary and stylish, mix them with denim or chambray and timelessly well-tailoring jackets and trousers (try turn-ups for added character). Add fresh splashes of colour in scarves, pocket squares and good quality accessories. Note than denim is for any age of man; just wear it in keeping with your age and style. 

Don't worry if you're larger or smaller than average, just focus on buying stuff that fits: most men buy clothes that are too large which seldom looks good.  

Above all, wear what you feel comfortable in and don't try to be what you're not. The older man should have the confidence of age to find his own style without copying those of a younger generation or getting stuck in colourless older man's looks. 

Look around this blog, Pinterest and The Sartorialist, what looks do you admire on older men? Use those as inspiration for finding your own style. 

Follow 'The Search for Style' Series on this link.

The Search for Style 3: Getting There?

In the last feature in this series I asked you to look at some images. I wonder if you would have all agreed whether they showed older men demonstrating real style. Do we all agree on what is style? I doubt it. Men and women have their own tastes and preferences (cultural or acquired through experience or upbringing) and these will govern whether they see someone as stylish or not. 

Images of men's style from various sources

I've heard from may of you by e-mail with your thoughts about style. I've added these to  my views, developed over the last six years of blogging, to form some objective principles that help us identify style and explain why we admire the style of the person getting on the train. 

I agree with the view expressed by one reader that a person can be stylish even where we don't like the style they've chosen. In this series I'm trying to find the objective markers of successful style untainted by the personal preferences and prejudices of the observer. I'm going to explore these factors in more detail in future features, but, to get us started, here are what I see as some essential elements. I'm sure we'll add to these so I'll summarise them all at the end of this series:

Style involves:

1. A personal 'something' or presence made up of a display of self-confidence, carriage and (possibly) calmness.

2. A sense of proportion, colour and texture shown in what we wear.

3. Clothes that fit.

4. Style becomes truly entrenched when the person extends these principles to all they own, wear and do: cars, accessories, art, furnishings, food, holidays. If a person's sense of style shows here as well as in their personal appearance, they have hit the style big time.

5. The clothes reflect the personality of the wearer rather than following a current trend (subject to 6 below).

6. The style doesn't jar with its context. By this I mean that touches that are inappropriate for the event (wearing a suit to a casual barbecue), too loud in pattern or colour, or which are anachronistic (frock coat, top hat or too Peaky Blinders) may not work. This begins to look a little too eccentric, even vain, to be considered truly stylish. Ask yourself, 'Do I feel comfortable going out looking like this?' I'm not advocating total conformity, but some is required.

7. Finally, classic shapes and styles always work best - they've become classics for a reason!

I'll look at these elements, and others, in future features but would welcome your thoughts, so do get in touch by email. This series on a Search for Style appears on Fridays on Grey Fox Blog. In the next feature a reader from the USA describes his own search for style.

Follow The Search for Style on this link.

The Search for Style 2: What is Style?

To find style we need to know what it is. 'Style' is defined by the OED in this context as both 'A particular design of clothing' or 'fashionable elegance or sophistication'. The first definition contains no judgement of quality, the second implies something that is better than most. A man's style might be unkempt, scruffy or unfashionable - but he is unlikely to be called 'stylish'.

Which are stylish? Which have style?

In my examination of style over the next few weeks I'm trying to identify how a man can find a stylish style. I suspect most of us recognise style when we see it. A man or woman gets on the train and something about them makes them stand out. What is it? Is it one factor or many? 

Have a look at the images above. Which, to you, show persons that you'd consider stylish? There's no right or wrongs; it's your decision. Identify what you like or don't like about each. Are there any factors that govern your decision?

In the next feature we'll pin down the elements of style. Meanwhile, have a look at my Pinterest boards here where I collect some of the looks that appeal to me (and a few that don't).

Follow The Search for Style on this link.

The Search for Style: Coming Soon Here on the Blog

This blog started six years ago to describe my search for style as an older man. With this experience under my belt I want this year, as part of my new direction for the blog, to take a personal look into  the elements of style: what it is, how to recognise it and how we can acquire it - does style have any use or purpose? I hope that the discussion will inform all of us as we look for style, whether we are men in our twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties or beyond.

Searching for style: suit Dege & Skinner from cloth made in collaboration with Johnstons of Elgin

Many of you have been in touch to describe your own searches for style. Each of you has different reasons for your search. Some have always been interested in style; others, like me, started late. In my case it was a response to the failure of brands to market themselves properly to older men. Those of us over 50 are responsible for nearly half of consumer spending. We've worked all our lives and tend to be more affluent on average than younger people. Despite this, brands use young models and aim at the young in trying to sell their wares. This approach just doesn't connect with the older man. One of my aims on the blog is to show brands that older men are interested and will buy their products if they want to sell to them.

I'm interested in some of the puzzles around style. How do some older men look stylish wearing clothes that don't fit/are outrageous/very youthful while most of us look terrible in the same outfits? I can't promise answers but I'll give it a go. I'll be grateful for your thoughts, suggestions, questions, answers too. As ever, the blog is nothing without you, its readers here and on Instagram.

Is this style? Pitti Uomo January 2017 (image Grey Fox)

A search for style takes a positive decision to change, to some extent, your wardrobe, life and appearance. You have to feel some passion about this and this means being certain that style brings some benefits. I've found that it does. Not least are positive comments from friends, family and (best of all) women - but style goes beyond mere vanity and embraces confidence, self-respect and respect for others.

I'll also look at the issue of sustainability. A truly stylish man will always consider the environmental impact of his choices and the welfare of those making his clothes. I'm grateful to a reader for reminding me to include this.

Style is more than skin deep. A man needs inspiration in the form of images, blogs, social media and advertising to help him achieve style; he can't do it on his own as it's a deep and complex formula. Let's break down the elements of this formula over the next few weeks. But please... get in touch and let me have your thoughts. My email.

Follow The Search for Style on this link.