The Search for Style has produced many messages from readers. Many thanks to all: I have replied individually. All contain thoughtful comments and I want to post some on the blog (with permission of course). How do older men go about finding style and dressing well?
"I think more about my mortality and how much I enjoy life and how I would like my appearance to reflect that I not only have a respect for myself, but for life in general..."Many of you told me about your searches for style. This e-mail, from David in North Carolina, USA (pictured below), is typical.
His two points about getting started on a journey to style and the need for clothes to reflect one's personality both chimed with me. I hope it helps you all (as it did me):
Dear David,
I will look forward to how you address fundamental questions about style on the blog this year. As a 56 year old man who only became interested in men’s fashion a few years ago, the journey has been an interesting one. It started with a trip to the Nordic countries, where I fell in love with their wool sweaters—seriously ! From there it moved to cover all of Men’s fashion.
The hardest part for me was getting started, by that, I mean making major changes in my appearance at work. I am a middle school teacher at a private school and while we have a dress code, I tended to dress as casually as I could get away with. Now I am told I “dress to the nines” and that I am in fact the best dressed teacher on campus. I’ve received many compliments from friends and my boss actually went out of his way to note it on my last evaluation! It definitely has been positive for my self esteem and such.
But I still remember when I made the transformation a few years ago. I came to school in a sports coat and new and elegant tie, with a Rubinacci pocket square. I’d never before worn a pocket square, and very rarely wore a jacket to work. People REALLY noticed and there was a lot of chatter. There was almost too much attention, but as people got used to my new look it was easier. It’s nice receiving compliments and looking professional, but it’s a bit intimidating when you make a sudden transformation in your look as I did!
I love color, patterns, and different textures, and over these past few years I’ve read everything I could to learn about “style”. I came across your blog about a year ago on Instagram, and it’s become my favorite because I identify so much with your style. I’ve never been to the U.K., but I am especially drawn to British country style. I love the tweeds, wool sweaters, English-made brogues, flat caps and such. A lot of my friends tell me I dress more European than American!
Perhaps, but what I have discovered is that clothing is more than just something to put on in the morning. It is a way of expressing who you are without words. As obvious as that might seem now, I had no idea of that until reaching my mid-fifties! I want to wear clothes that do more than make me look and feel better, I want them to be a *part* of me, of who I am. Too many men (most?) don’t seem to care about the clothes they wear or their appearance in general. They put little to no thought into their daily outfits, often opting for extremely casual clothes that don’t even fit properly, doing them no favors at all. I remember how I, too, once did the bare minimum when it came to my appearance.
Now I see things from a different perspective. Maybe this comes with age, but I think more about my mortality and how much I enjoy life and how I would like my appearance to reflect that I not only have a respect for myself, but for life in general. I think for me that might be the essence of my style.
It’s funny, because in the past few years I’ve changed my diet to a much healthier one. I eat better and I eat smaller portions. This, combined with long, daily walks has seen me lose about 12 pounds since last summer. My waist is now 33 inches, almost the 32 it was when I was in high school 38 years ago! I mention this because I do believe that this is all related to style. It’s a way of life. I see how my new wardrobe connects to my diet, my weight loss, and my improved health. As a result, I feel better both physically and mentally!
Well I really didn’t mean to ramble this long, but I wanted to thank you for your blog. It’s inspirational to me.
Warm regards from North Carolina,
David
Many thanks, David. He raised many issues that I'll talk about over the next few weeks. Meanwhile, please comment below or get in touch with your thoughts and suggestions or accounts of your own journeys to style. My e-mail
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