Elegance
– not vulgarity
By Mark J Hollingsworth
Just over two months ago I came across the
blog site of the Grey Fox and, after reading his posts, became inspired to start
my own complementary site on the subject of ‘lifestyle and the middle aged
man’. I am very grateful to Grey Fox for asking me to contribute a post to his
ground-breaking site.
Why did I start to write? I did not set out
to become an expert on style – however, I felt if I had questions about middle
aged lifestyle then so would others, so I am simply aiming to provide opinions
which may help others form their own views.
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| Photo - The Sartorialist |
Initially I was searching for help with two
questions in my life:
1. Being an Englishman living and working
in Canada was I alone in being shocked at the continual ‘casualization’ of
society?
2. At the age of 51 was I becoming ‘old
fashioned’?
Froma Harrop, on creators.com, answered the
first question in her recent accurate attack on her North American compatriots
entitled ‘Slobs and the American
Civilization’. Ms. Harrop wrote of her recent experience standing at
Chicago airport watching a “nation of
slobs parading through the airport. Frayed denim hems swept the filthy floor,
cleavage poured out of t-shirts bearing vulgar messages, big bellies flowed
over the waists of ill-fitting jeans, mature women waddled in stained sweat
suits….it’s a grim scene.”
Grim indeed. It seems the richer North
America has become the more slovenly it has become.
So, I have partly begun a journey, through
my blog, to take a stand against this ‘casualization’ in middle age and fight
back against the past two decades of sloppiness and scruffiness!
Sadly though, and as the Grey Fox has also
discovered, there is a very little public debate/discussion for middle aged men
in this area. Conversely, there is certainly no shortage of excellent sites for
middle aged women, which also contain a considerable amount of comment on how
they wish their respective husbands/partners would dress more appropriately for
their age! So the demand is there!
However, unfortunately we seem to live in
an age where men have been told, over time, it is effeminate or shallow to
invest too much in their appearance.
Why? That I don’t know yet. Which leads me
to my second question whether I am ‘old fashioned’ in being concerned about my
appearance and lifestyle?
The older I have become (and I am now 51),
it seems the more the quality
of my life matters to me. I am searching for a conservative but modern
lifestyle – a style that says I’ve been around for a while, but I am still
going strong and will be here for some time yet! I have learnt style has little
to do with money – it’s rather an attitude. But, I feel I must not let my style
threaten my notion of my masculinity. Overall I wish to retain my sense of
individualism.
Perhaps the most inspiring quote I have
found in the first two months of writing my blog, which helps answer my two
questions, comes from Patrick Grant (Norton and Sons, Savile Row):
“There’s too much vulgarity today. I’d like
to see a return to understated elegance, to decent codes of behaviour, to being
men of purpose.”
Based on this quote, my own thoughts after
my first 9 weeks of research and writing can be summarized:
a. Let’s buy less yet invest in better
quality.
b. Let this middle aged generation set an
example in menswear and create a new golden age of style.
c. Let’s remember every morning as we
prepare for the day ahead that our style is our first means of communicating
with the world around us.
d. The way we dress is a way we show
respect to ourselves and to others.
e. Let’s communicate elegance, not
vulgarity.
I know I echo the Grey Fox when I say I
would welcome your comments on this post – or any issue related to our middle
age experiences!
Thank you
Mark
Mark J Hollingsworth
