Elegance
– not vulgarity
By Mark J Hollingsworth
Just over two months ago I came across the
blog site of the Grey Fox and, after reading his posts, became inspired to start
my own complementary site on the subject of ‘lifestyle and the middle aged
man’. I am very grateful to Grey Fox for asking me to contribute a post to his
ground-breaking site.
Why did I start to write? I did not set out
to become an expert on style – however, I felt if I had questions about middle
aged lifestyle then so would others, so I am simply aiming to provide opinions
which may help others form their own views.
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| Photo - The Sartorialist |
Initially I was searching for help with two
questions in my life:
1. Being an Englishman living and working
in Canada was I alone in being shocked at the continual ‘casualization’ of
society?
2. At the age of 51 was I becoming ‘old
fashioned’?
Froma Harrop, on creators.com, answered the
first question in her recent accurate attack on her North American compatriots
entitled ‘Slobs and the American
Civilization’. Ms. Harrop wrote of her recent experience standing at
Chicago airport watching a “nation of
slobs parading through the airport. Frayed denim hems swept the filthy floor,
cleavage poured out of t-shirts bearing vulgar messages, big bellies flowed
over the waists of ill-fitting jeans, mature women waddled in stained sweat
suits….it’s a grim scene.”
Grim indeed. It seems the richer North
America has become the more slovenly it has become.
So, I have partly begun a journey, through
my blog, to take a stand against this ‘casualization’ in middle age and fight
back against the past two decades of sloppiness and scruffiness!
Sadly though, and as the Grey Fox has also
discovered, there is a very little public debate/discussion for middle aged men
in this area. Conversely, there is certainly no shortage of excellent sites for
middle aged women, which also contain a considerable amount of comment on how
they wish their respective husbands/partners would dress more appropriately for
their age! So the demand is there!
However, unfortunately we seem to live in
an age where men have been told, over time, it is effeminate or shallow to
invest too much in their appearance.
Why? That I don’t know yet. Which leads me
to my second question whether I am ‘old fashioned’ in being concerned about my
appearance and lifestyle?
The older I have become (and I am now 51),
it seems the more the quality
of my life matters to me. I am searching for a conservative but modern
lifestyle – a style that says I’ve been around for a while, but I am still
going strong and will be here for some time yet! I have learnt style has little
to do with money – it’s rather an attitude. But, I feel I must not let my style
threaten my notion of my masculinity. Overall I wish to retain my sense of
individualism.
Perhaps the most inspiring quote I have
found in the first two months of writing my blog, which helps answer my two
questions, comes from Patrick Grant (Norton and Sons, Savile Row):
“There’s too much vulgarity today. I’d like
to see a return to understated elegance, to decent codes of behaviour, to being
men of purpose.”
Based on this quote, my own thoughts after
my first 9 weeks of research and writing can be summarized:
a. Let’s buy less yet invest in better
quality.
b. Let this middle aged generation set an
example in menswear and create a new golden age of style.
c. Let’s remember every morning as we
prepare for the day ahead that our style is our first means of communicating
with the world around us.
d. The way we dress is a way we show
respect to ourselves and to others.
e. Let’s communicate elegance, not
vulgarity.
I know I echo the Grey Fox when I say I
would welcome your comments on this post – or any issue related to our middle
age experiences!
Thank you
Mark
Mark J Hollingsworth
9 comments:
Hallelujah! Have just discovered your blog, along with An Englishmen Abroad, and have joined both. Extremely stylish in thought and example without some of the crazier "fashionable" nonsense that passes for style among the younger set. Great stuff, and I'll be back for more. 46 is staring me in the face in about two week's time, so both blogs are right up my alley. Thanks!
Best Regards,
Ulrich von B.
Thanks and Happy Birthday in two weeks. All comments and suggestions are gratefully received. GF.
GF,
I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now and have really enjoyed it. I agree with Mark, that as I grow older, I'm looking to dress better and put forward a more stylish appearance. He's right that we Americans have totally become a mess. And I agree that there is a scarcity of good blogs and websites that help guide older men toward expressing their style better. Yours is certainly one. I also like looking at the Satorialist, and the video of the dinner in Milan is excellent. I'd love to have something like that here. I've added Mark's blog to my list of daily reading and will continue looking for your great articles.
Thanks!
Michael King
Thanks Michael for your comments. The UK has its share of poor dressing as well. Making an effort implies self-respect and respect for others and can be achieved with no additional expense, as Mark suggests. It would be good to feel that we could make a difference; time alone will tell. Regards, GF.
Hi GF,
I am forty nine heading shortly to fifty and have been following your blog for a few weeks now. I find it very informative and fulfilling as I too am disgusted at the (low)level fellow males my age have reached. My local city is Lincoln and whenever I venture in I am shocked at the standards attained, be it summer or winter. Lincoln is not a rich city but it does have some small independent shops and due to the wonders of the internet the online shopping world is your oyster. To look smart and stylish you do not have to spend a fortune just take time to look your best and shop around for stylish bargains. As one of my teachers told me just before I left school in the seventies "The only person who judges your dress sense on a daily basis is yourself".
Unfortunately, Europe is also going the sloppy way. Interestingly, Asia is where people still pay attention to their looks in daily life.
Unfortunately, Europe is also going the sloppy way. Interestingly, Asia is where people still pay attention to their looks in daily life.
The writer hits upon an important and somewhat bothersome point - that in the US it is seen as effeminate for a man to dress well. Couple this with tech companies that encourage "dressing down" (we have guys who wear short pants every day, even in the winter!), and it is hard for a a well-dressed man not to feel out of place.
Nevertheless, I think it's a good thing. I've been working on developing my own sense of style, and have enjoyed your blog for several months as a bit of encouragement!
Well said Grey Fox. Warm weather seems to bring out the inner boy in many middle-aged men in N.A. Shorts, sloppy T-shirt, baseball cap. Nuff said. I often find men from S.A. know how to dress for summer with pants that fit, a belt and a crisp short-sleeved shirt. I, for one, am relieved when the temperature falls and it's time to cover up. On a postive note, I find some Gen Ys kicking it up a notch with some natty dressing and a return to a little pomade (product of some kind) in their hair. Let's hope the age of sloppy dressing goes the way of the baby boomer. I'm so pleased you're leading the charge against the unraveling of the man in l'age.
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